The aisles at Target are filled with cute tissue boxes and brightly colored folders, the neighborhood is quiet by 7:00 each night, the names of 24 new little ones are printed neatly on name tags, (no little hands have tried to pick at them yet!) and the sun is setting earlier. It's back to school time! There is no greater time in the whole school year, in my opinion, than the first day of school. After 2 and a half months off I have had time to reset my mind, rethink my teaching strategies, prepare my classroom once again for a new batch of kindergarten kiddos, and renew my roadmap for meeting the learning goals of all my students. But this year is different. This year I begin as not only a teacher, but as a mom.
Over the past few days my Facebook newsfeed has been filled with first day of school pictures. You know the ones I'm talking about. Both kids standing on the front porch with their backpacks on. I'm pretty sure my parents made my brother and I do it through our senior year in high school. If I remember correctly, my mom even suggested I stand in front of the big stone sign that said the name of the University I attended when they dropped me off that summer day. I refused. This year I also noticed many parents sharing their concerns about dropping off their first kindergartener. They shared their fears, hopes, and dreams as their little one stepped out of the daycare center and into the real world of school. Many parents expressed anxiety, nervousness, fear, and sadness about time passing too quickly. Their "baby" is now waltzing onto the school bus and towards adulthood.
As a kindergarten teacher, I've watched the bittersweet drop off moment on the first day of school for 5 years now. Most kids are excited and proudly carrying around their brand new shiny backpacks (most of which are bigger than they are!) And the parents? Well it depends on who they are dropping off.
The First Timer: You can spot the first timer easily. They are standing quietly with their child the whole time. Usually they keep a hand on their child's shoulder. Mom's got a camera hanging from her neck, ready to capture this milestone moment. Dad is in his work attire, ready to head to the office once this whole charade is over. Mom has insisted he be there. They have all the paperwork you've asked them to complete in their hands, not to be trusted with their child. This parent may have a tissue wadded up in their hand, ready for that dreaded moment when the child walks into the school for the first time. Or maybe that tissue was needed on the drive over... Mom has usually confirmed their end of the day transportation with you ahead of time through an early email, but will typically double check it with you at this time. She may also mention that her little guy has an extra set of underwear and pants in his backpack, "just in case." Handle these first timers with care. They really need to know that you care about their child as much as they do. Also, be sure to smile your best when they insist on a first day of school picture with you and their child. It will definitely be in some type of baby book for years to come.
The Been There Done That Parent: The parent who has done this before is usually talking and laughing with other parents as their child plays with a neighborhood friend they have spotted. This child may also be the one who doesn't have the nametag they were supposed to be wearing. "Could you just get him a new nametag?" Mom asks. "He peeled it off in the car on the way here, you know kids! And I think his sister ate it!" This parent may even drive off before you walk into school because she knows you will care for her child and has learned to trust the teacher already. She may not have a camera on her, but be camera ready anyway.
The Grand Finale Parent: But the parents that go under the radar I've found, are the ones dropping off their final kindergartener. They have had brothers or sisters do this before, so I used to assume they were professionals at this point. Nothing to worry about. But then I started to notice over the years, these were the moms crying the hardest. Their last baby is flying the nest. No more 3 AM feedings, no more diaper changes, no more baby gates needed in the house, no more toothless smiles waiting for you in the crib each morning. Their last baby has grown up and is about to head into kindergarten. These moms are professionals in a sense though. They wait until they get back into their cars to cry. They know better. Be extra kind to these moms and dads. They are often overlooked and under appreciated.
The Needy Parent: Needy parents are just that, needy. They will ask you what time school is out today even though it was on the letter you sent home weeks ago. They will tell you they didn't get the paperwork done but promise to have it by tomorrow, or they could just fax it to you today if you need. She will remind you about her son's sensitive skin and insist you keep him in the shade during recess. This parent may even show you a photo on her phone of a healthy bowel movement from her son versus an unhealthy one, just so you know when he's constipated (true story, this happened once.) Once she reminds you that he may need help wiping after using the restroom, I kindly remind her that it is his job to take care of that. I used to roll my eyes at these parents and try to not laugh at their ridiculous requests. But you know what? All of these requests are due to feelings of anxiety and nerves. Be extra polite with these ones. They aren't sure about you yet and are testing to see how much you care. A big smile and taking notes about what they are telling you will put them at ease and help them have a much better day at work knowing their child is taken care of.
After 5 years of watching drop off and now having my own baby, I realized something huge this year. All these parents want on day 1 is to know that their child is safe, loved, and respected by YOU. They don't care what level their child will be reading at. They don't care where your degree came from or that you earned your Master's Degree over the summer. They have no interest in your snack schedule or adorable first day of school outfit you selected for the day. They want you to love their child as they do. That's it. So give that crying parent a hug. Nod enthusiastically as that parent tells you about their child's giftedness when it comes to anything artistic. Smile big when that parent wants their seventh picture of you and their little one. The first day of kindergarten is not really about the kindergarteners. It's about their parents and making sure they feel comfortable leaving their babies. Unlike daycare, these parents didn't get to tour several schools in hopes of finding their favorite one. They didn't get to interview teachers until they found the right fit. They got a letter saying this is your child's school and this is her teacher. See you then. Like it or not, this is how it is going to go! So put the parents at ease on the first day and love each child as if they were your own, because a little piece of each parent is with you all day long.
